I’m trying to get in the mood to study for this math test. So far nothing. I open my note book and I start to study and I get bored or tired and close the book. I don’t know if I’m accepting failure or just taking this test for granted. I have all the material right in front of my face but my mind is like a bored child and does not want to stay focused.
Tests have never been my specialty. I don’t know how I made it through school, I was a horrible student. I would always freeze up and panic during test. I would get easily distracted during lectures. I would always window shop in other people’s lives who were smarter than me. It wasn’t until a year and a half ago when I completed my diploma and enrolled in college for the first time as a freshman, attending Beacon College, that I had finally silenced my doubt.
They say if you want to hear God laugh tell him what you got planned. I felt like that a lot in life, as though my plans were just dreams and that maybe I was not meant to be happy. I know now more than ever anything is possible, it’s just a matter of how much time and effort I’m willing to put in to it.
I read books on Albert Einstein; he did not talk until he was 3 or 5, and teachers thought he was dumb. I used to always 
wish that was the case with me, but my mental development was interrupted at four. People love to label other people as dumb or broken if you’re not good at school. The story of my life! If only I was a little bit smarter, or a little bit taller. I guess sometimes you get handed a jacked up hand in life and it’s your choice to make the best of it. One of the first words Albert Einstein said when his parents asked him why he didn’t talk for so long? His reply was something like, “I was waiting until I could form the words properly.” Well I’m sure it was not in those same words, but in that phrase. I guess with Einstein people had already labeled him as dumb, and he could have very well accepted that role. Einstein was not always the EINSTEIN we have come to know as one of the smartest men of history. He had his days of name calling and failure just like everyone else in the world. Our state of mind or circumstances might not always be the best, but it is our choice to choose to accept failure or to work for a better tomorrow.
~Adrienne Hughes